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faith

ready for the shift

Rather than having “pre planned” posts in sharing my latest purchase, my new fav lipstick or how I accomplished a certain look that I’m wearing; I’ve come to the realization that I’m just not that type of “blogger/writer.” I’m not a fashion blogger rather, I am a woman who’s inspired by the beauty which surrounds her.

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full circle

I remember what life was like before he came around. I was searching for him and through many disappointments and heartaches, trials and tribulations; I realized that my focus was in the wrong place. An epiphany suddenly hit me…I am not supposed to be searching for him, but searching for me, putting all my energy into discovering who I am.

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don’t worry, it’s shaping you

I am sure you have heard the saying “Pain on Purpose” before but do you truly know the meaning? If you remember my posts sharing my pain and pain for purpose you have probably realized that I have been through a lot – and I have, but, I can honestly say that everything that I have been through, shaped me to be the woman I am today. To be honest, my strength was built during those hard times in my life.

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a message from ebby.K

Family,

I truly believe that in order to be what you are purposed to be, some times you have to take a “time out,” pull yourself away from everything and everyone and gather your thoughts.

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red lips -n- skirts!

“No matter where you go, God provides.”
– from my Mother In Law – 

There are so many things in life that I want to do. I’m always having a word spoken over me about where God is taking me, but something in me is crippling me to move forward. Just like my weight loss, I have to get to a place where I say NO MORE and I make up my mind, that I’m making moves! No more crippling and not moving forward. No more not moving into my destiny. No more am I going to waste another day and not do what God has created me to do.

We often find ourselves crippled in moving forward because there is a fear associated with it. I admitted at a conference in front of many successful entrepreneurs that I am not only “afraid” of success – but I am nervous of the responsibility that comes with success.  I know God has given me a lot to do, I just need to start making moves and getting it done.

Has God ever given you a glimpse of your future? Has He ever shown you what your life is really designed for?

Listening to my mother-in-law talk to my hubby on the phone and she said “No matter where you go, God provides.” Hearing those words made me realize – that there isn’t a need to be afraid to move forward – God is already there, He is waiting on me to move forward.

On the FASHION FRONT:

Went to Atlanta a few weeks ago and saw this crop sweater and I had to have it. Knowing the seasons are about to change, I had to squeeze this in before it got too warm to wear it!

Guess what – the sweater was on clearance for $5 at H&M – SCORE!!!

be inspired.

details on my look
top: H&M
necklace: Natasha found at Dillards
skirt: Forever 21
sneakers: Michael Kors

sharing my pain…

It’s so easy to get caught up in the hoopla of life and miss all of the beautiful, intricate small things that are happening around you. 

How many times have you been so self absorbed in focusing on everything that’s NOT going right that you totally miss out in noticing what is going right?
 
I found myself being in that place – for an entire year to be honest, and I wouldn’t wish what I went through on my worst enemy. 

My mind was so focused and consumed on the negative things, old things – things that I should have let go years ago – that I couldn’t see the beautiful things that were happening to me.  

I did not notice that God moved me to a beautiful city so that I could see and experience things I never would have seen if I had not lived there. 

I did not see that God placed me in the high mountains of North Carolina with my new husband to isolate me so that He could create and mold me to be the wife, leader and woman He designed me to be. 

I did not see  that I had to be in this place in order to get focused and aligned to Him, zoning in on my health and wellness and successfully dropping 35 pounds in 6 months which in turn now inspires other women to tap into their greatness and become healthier and fit from the inside, out.

I could not see that my destiny was being built in this season, in this perfect place. 

I couldn’t see it…

I did not notice how much of an amazing life I had, ability to work from home, great income, amazing husband that loved and adored me, beautiful family, supportive friends, could purchase anything I wanted, got my MBA, and so much more in my abundance, because…I loved my pain,  I worshipped and adored her – I made love to her daily. We spent so much time together I didn’t have room for anything or anyone else. She was my priority. 

No matter how hard I tried, I continued to hold on to these bad things, the negative situations – my hurt. I didn’t want to let my hurt go, it was my addiction, my god. I worshipped my hurt, I praised my pain – I bowed down to her daily for an entire year – she consumed me.

For an entire year, the only god I served was the god of my pain, the lord of my hurt.

…and in that worship, in that praise, it was all taken away…

I lost it all – my job, my income, my identity and almost my sanity and my marriage. Depression was waiting for me, she stood with open arms waiting to share her “love” with me. She wanted me to come to her making me feel like she loved me so that she could wrap her arms around me and walk me into her dark shadows – but GOD.

I would constantly look back on my pain, reminisce in the hurt, fight to forgive, SO self absorbed with the thoughts that I could NOT focus on what was ahead of me.

I would replay in my mind these situations,  the heart wrenching occurrences trying to figure out where I went wrong. I cried, I prayed, because never in a million years did I want to hurt anyone, not even myself.  The soul was dying, the pain was just too great to live with. These thoughts, situations and what-ifs consumed me, they took over me daily and I felt like I was losing myself, losing my mind, and day-by-day, bit-by-bit, I was.

No longer when I looked in the mirror I saw beautiful, pretty “ebby” – I saw a woman that walking in her pain, living in her hurt, disgraced by negative emotion worshipping her shame.

Very few knew what I was going through – only those very close to me.  Thank God for angels, beautiful friends and strangers I encountered during this season that helped me to see the beauty in my life that I was ignoring. Thank God for those who prayed for me, my marriage, my life, my soul and purpose – THANK GOD for Jesus.Many nights, many days I cried imagining myself as that woman crawling on the floor trying to touch the hem of His garment because all I wanted was to heal – to be in His presense. I wanted Him to see me again.If only I could reach Him, if only I could see and feel Him again. I missed Him.
In my heart I wanted to be free, I wanted to forget, I wanted to let go but I couldn’t. It was like something in the atmosphere wanted me to remember these things and dwell on them because it knew the moment I was free from the bondage, loose from the chains –  DESTINY was awaiting me – my GREATNESS was waiting to be restored to me.
 
I knew in my heart that I was a prayer warrior. I knew what to pray and how to pray but I couldn’t. I didn’t know what to say. For a year of my life I felt weak, like I couldn’t pray –  I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to be strong again but no matter how hard I fought I couldn’t regain my strength.
The harder I fought to keep “me,” the more I was losing me. 
Losing the battle not realizing that the very “me” I was trying to hold on to, God wanted “her” to die.  He was creating a new thing, a new creature, a new ebby. I knew and realized in my heart that truly and honestly letting go was my bus pass to elevation, my plane ticket to freedom – but something kept me and it had me for a year.  It controlled me for a year.

After a year of fighting those chains, those spirits, that bondage I am here to announce to you that I am free. The moment I truly gave it all to God, did all that I could do, forgave and forgotten truly in my heart, stopped worshipping my pain,  He opened the flood gates for me.

Everything I had held up in the heavens was there waiting for me on the other side.  My destiny was far to great to carry that weight with me. My purpose was waiting for me to let go. 
 
Now I can testify to you today that I am free, I am ready and I am healed. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this liberated and happy in my life! 

Everything I lost God is restoring back to me ten-fold.  Day-by-day God is showing me His favor. I know I am healed and He knows He can trust me again. 

There is not one devil in hell that can keep me from my destiny, my purpose. I am a fighter, I persevere –  I am going to keep fighting and I want to help you fight.

My pain was not and will not be in vain.  I will no longer allow my pain to be my god – there is only one God, one Lord, one Savior, one Spirit and that is who I am going to worship, serve and praise. I don’t care if it’s with one or a million – I love Him too much to let Him down anymore.

With Love and Freedom,
ebby.K

don’t give up

You’re doing everything you can and you still aren’t satisfied. You’ve tried to change your eating, change your thinking, switch up your entire routine and still nothing.

 There is a simple yet effective scripture I want you to remember, Philippians 4:13.

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i dare you!

You look around and you are always wondering “why don’t I fit in?”  “What is it about me that doesn’t mesh with everyone else?”

You may even find yourself conforming to your surroundings and those around you just to be accepted. You find yourself styling yourself like them, eating what they eat, wearing what they wear and even changing the way you speak – all because you want to fit in.

What if I told you that your uniqueness is your gift and that its what qualifies you to stand out amongst the crowd? You are here to be a trail blazer!

What if I told you that what you may think are your weaknesses are actually your strengths waiting to be developed?

We all were born to be different but because of what we see around us we think that there is something wrong with us.

We think and wonder why God created us this way not realizing that in His eyes we are perfect.

You were made to shine and not to blend in with the crowd. You were designed  to stand out, to be different!

I dare you to accept your unique qualities, your beautiful features, your peculiar ways. For they are all gifts from God designed to make you stand tall amongst the crowd.

See your beauty, FEEL your beauty and walk in it!

Dare to be different!

be inspired.

…don’t know what to do…

“Some times I sit and wonder if I am doing the right thing, pursing the right thing, thinking the right thoughts, moving in the right direction.” – ebby.K

It’s a true moment of deep thought for me. For years I was aware of my gifts, but recently it just hit me – I have been blessed with A LOT of gifts and talents and to be honest, it can truly be very overwhelming at times and I have no clue where to start.

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caught up

How many of us have been so caught up in our lives that we totally neglect the people around us? It’s so easy to become distracted by what’s going on around you that you not only forget about the things that are happening around you, but, you forget about the important people around you…very easy.

You see people making moves, doing big things….and you say to yourself, “when will it be my turn?” You get annoyed, then frustrated and that frustration turns into rebellion, and so on…and so on…– can anyone relate? And guess what? Social media does not help one bit!

Rather than us being patient, we begin to get in frenzy and start taking matters into our own hands. Do you know that’s the worst thing you can do? We become so impatient that the very thing we’ve been praying for we are back on our knees asking God to remove it…why? Because we were too impatient to wait for God’s timing to manifest.

When you take “matters into your own hands” you find yourself in a worse situation than you were before. As my friend said, “Wouldn’t you rather wait for God’s timing rather than to receive something you desperately wanted prematurely just to have to pray that God will remove the very thing you longed for? God’s timing is PERFECT. YOUR timing leads to Destruction…

Think about how many times have you messed up because you were just plain ole’ hasty? Or how many times your mind was everywhere which caused you not to think clearly.

Your decisions are based on emotions and adrenaline causing you to react based on emotion and “feelings” rather than facts and purpose.

As a result, what happened?
This happens frequently to everyone, we get so caught up in our lives that we forget about the outside world.

The next time you’re in a frenzy, take a step back, breath and then really dig deep to see what you should do. As a wise friend of mine said, never react or act out of emotion.

I’ll never forget that statement. Wise decisions are never made based on emotion. An emotionless decision could be the one decision that changes your life.

be inspired.